the open book
hey guys,
so i had somethings on my heart that i wanted to share and just be real with you.
almost two and a half years ago, i sustained a mild concussion. it was a month and a half before my high school graduation. that was a really stressful time in my life. i had exams and a job and now this concussion. Lets just say that when grad came, i was so ready to be done with school and looking forward to the summer ahead.
i was at camp, all summer and loved every minute of it. of course, hard days came due to some post concussion symptoms, but i was optimistic. I had plans of university in the fall and was ready to move away and experience new things in life. I was ready to explore and make memories. Create a future for myself.
little did i know what was in store for me.
fast forward two and a half years later. through missed concerts and outings with my friends. a missed family trip to Europe. missed time in school.
this journey of healing hasn't been an easy one. i have been angry many times. I've asked God why this had to happen. why everything that i loved and wanted in life, had to be taken away. why me.
once i got over the fact that God is good, and that our understanding isn't His understanding, things got better.
things i have learned so far from this journey:
1. why me? why not me. i wouldn't want anyone else to go through this. so why not me.
2. things don't always go as planned --> bloom where you are planted. a flower doesn't choose where it gets to grow. it just grows.
3. God doesn't bring pain without a purpose. He will always use your pain for something good.
4. i always thought "God gives His toughest battles to his strongest soldiers" was such a cliques quote until i had to live it. He won't ever give us anything that we can't handle without His help.
5. be still. Exodus 14:14. harder to do than it is to say. but SO SO important.
6. giving God control can't be a thought. it has to be an action.
7. being vulnerable can be a beautiful thing. it doesn't make you weak. being vulnerable allows those around you to also be vulnerable. it shows people that they aren't alone. it allows you to feel like you aren't alone.
8. going off of ^^ this one. you are never alone. God is with you, but so are people. look around you. find the people who want to care. who want to be there for you. they are everywhere. somewhere, someone else is going through something and needs someone like you.
9. in every season in life, He is present and He is faithful. God isn't gonna leave you high and dry. He will carry you every single step of the way. Seek Him. Find Him. joy comes from Him, and Him only.
10. God's love is extravagant. Jesus knows what it's like to want out of a situation (hint, hint, He didn't particularly want to be nailed to a cross), He knows what it's like to cry and to hurt.
11. it may seem like other people have it all together, but they don't. no matter how hard to hide it. no one has it all together. you don't need to have everything figured out. God doesn't expect you to have everything figured out either.
12. validation is important, but not the most important. your story, your life, will be what you make it. it will be as good and unique as you let it. trust God, He is one heck of a good planner.
13. when you decide to be still (aka number 5) you will discover how loud God is when you actually are still and listening to Him. take the time to be still and listen. God will talk, but you need to make time to listen.
14. it's okay to be angry and upset over your situation. don't stay that way though. accept it, God put it there for a reason and is going to use it, and you for a better reason.
finally.
i am a runner. i am a triathlete. i am an athlete. i am a lifeguard. a daughter. a sister. a friend. a cousin. a mentor. i suffer from chronic migraines. sever post concussive syndrome. fibromyalgia.
i am also a child of God. my Heavenly Father is the King of the world--i am a princess. the other stuff, doesn't define me. people don't define me. i look to God for who i am.
YOU, are not defined by your circumstances, by your parents, your friends, your life. your struggles do not define who you are. God is greater than any struggle or situation this world throws at you.
some of my fav songs to get me through things right now:
Hills and Valleys - Tauren Wells
Your Hands - JJ Heller
I Have This Hope - Tenth Avenue North
I Am Yours - Tim Neufeld
Oh My Soul - Casting Crowns
Miracles - Kari Jobe
Come to The Table - Sidewalk Prophets
My One Safe Place - Andrew Peterson
Even If - Kutless
Times - Tenth Avenue North
No Fear in Love - Steffany Gretzinger
Peace Be Still - The Belonging Co, Lauren Daigle
Cast My Cares - Tim Timmons
Be Near - Shane and Shane
May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you,
wherever He may send you.
May He guide you through the wilderness,
protect you through the storm.
May He bring you home rejoicing
at the wonders He has shown you.
May He bring you home rejoicing
once again into our doors.
AMEN
so i had somethings on my heart that i wanted to share and just be real with you.
almost two and a half years ago, i sustained a mild concussion. it was a month and a half before my high school graduation. that was a really stressful time in my life. i had exams and a job and now this concussion. Lets just say that when grad came, i was so ready to be done with school and looking forward to the summer ahead.
i was at camp, all summer and loved every minute of it. of course, hard days came due to some post concussion symptoms, but i was optimistic. I had plans of university in the fall and was ready to move away and experience new things in life. I was ready to explore and make memories. Create a future for myself.
little did i know what was in store for me.
fast forward two and a half years later. through missed concerts and outings with my friends. a missed family trip to Europe. missed time in school.
this journey of healing hasn't been an easy one. i have been angry many times. I've asked God why this had to happen. why everything that i loved and wanted in life, had to be taken away. why me.
once i got over the fact that God is good, and that our understanding isn't His understanding, things got better.
things i have learned so far from this journey:
1. why me? why not me. i wouldn't want anyone else to go through this. so why not me.
2. things don't always go as planned --> bloom where you are planted. a flower doesn't choose where it gets to grow. it just grows.
3. God doesn't bring pain without a purpose. He will always use your pain for something good.
4. i always thought "God gives His toughest battles to his strongest soldiers" was such a cliques quote until i had to live it. He won't ever give us anything that we can't handle without His help.
5. be still. Exodus 14:14. harder to do than it is to say. but SO SO important.
6. giving God control can't be a thought. it has to be an action.
7. being vulnerable can be a beautiful thing. it doesn't make you weak. being vulnerable allows those around you to also be vulnerable. it shows people that they aren't alone. it allows you to feel like you aren't alone.
8. going off of ^^ this one. you are never alone. God is with you, but so are people. look around you. find the people who want to care. who want to be there for you. they are everywhere. somewhere, someone else is going through something and needs someone like you.
9. in every season in life, He is present and He is faithful. God isn't gonna leave you high and dry. He will carry you every single step of the way. Seek Him. Find Him. joy comes from Him, and Him only.
10. God's love is extravagant. Jesus knows what it's like to want out of a situation (hint, hint, He didn't particularly want to be nailed to a cross), He knows what it's like to cry and to hurt.
11. it may seem like other people have it all together, but they don't. no matter how hard to hide it. no one has it all together. you don't need to have everything figured out. God doesn't expect you to have everything figured out either.
12. validation is important, but not the most important. your story, your life, will be what you make it. it will be as good and unique as you let it. trust God, He is one heck of a good planner.
13. when you decide to be still (aka number 5) you will discover how loud God is when you actually are still and listening to Him. take the time to be still and listen. God will talk, but you need to make time to listen.
14. it's okay to be angry and upset over your situation. don't stay that way though. accept it, God put it there for a reason and is going to use it, and you for a better reason.
finally.
i am a runner. i am a triathlete. i am an athlete. i am a lifeguard. a daughter. a sister. a friend. a cousin. a mentor. i suffer from chronic migraines. sever post concussive syndrome. fibromyalgia.
i am also a child of God. my Heavenly Father is the King of the world--i am a princess. the other stuff, doesn't define me. people don't define me. i look to God for who i am.
YOU, are not defined by your circumstances, by your parents, your friends, your life. your struggles do not define who you are. God is greater than any struggle or situation this world throws at you.
some of my fav songs to get me through things right now:
Hills and Valleys - Tauren Wells
Your Hands - JJ Heller
I Have This Hope - Tenth Avenue North
I Am Yours - Tim Neufeld
Oh My Soul - Casting Crowns
Miracles - Kari Jobe
Come to The Table - Sidewalk Prophets
My One Safe Place - Andrew Peterson
Even If - Kutless
Times - Tenth Avenue North
No Fear in Love - Steffany Gretzinger
Peace Be Still - The Belonging Co, Lauren Daigle
Cast My Cares - Tim Timmons
Be Near - Shane and Shane
May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you,
wherever He may send you.
May He guide you through the wilderness,
protect you through the storm.
May He bring you home rejoicing
at the wonders He has shown you.
May He bring you home rejoicing
once again into our doors.
AMEN
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