Be Intentional. Be Ready.

It isn't a two-way street all of the time with God. It is in the sense of us needing to strive to be like Him and pray intently, He isn't going to just magically appear and tell us what to do and take all of our worries away if we don't ask Him to.

On the other hand, though we can't ask Him to do something, and then when He does say "oh not that way though".

All throughout my high school years, I always wanted God to be glorified, I wanted everything I did to be in His image and likeliness. I prayed so many times for God to break me down and mold me into someone He could use, and read countless times the passage in Isaiah that says "Here I am, Send Me" and wanted that wholeheartedly. I wanted so badly to be used by God to further His Kingdom. At that time though, I am not sure if I completely understood what that meant.

When I got my concussion in 2015, I had so many people praying for recovery and praying for it to go away, for complete healing. My recovery wasn't complete though, healing didn't and hasn't occurred, and I didn't realize until recently, that God allowing that concussion to happen, was His way of breaking me down and leading me to the person He needed me to be to do good work for Him. Which leads me to my point. I prayed so earnestly for God to use me and wanted to be readily available for Him whenever I could be, so when He is now preparing me, through this struggle, for the good works He has planned in the future I can't be commanding healing. Don't get me wrong, there is a time a place to declaring healing and the Bible shows us many examples of when that happened, but it also tells us of many times where God's chosen people, were left in a time of struggle and waiting. Yes, I am ready to be healed any moment now, and I would love to be pain-free and not struggling every day with whether or not I will be able to get out of bed. My perspective has now changed,  I don't want the healing until it is in God's time. If this struggle and pain is the way that God leads me to be in a place of furthering His kingdom, then this is the only place I want to be.

Praying intentionally is important, and very powerful, but when you pray for something to happen, or not happen, you have to be ready for that prayer to both be answered or to be stuck in a time of waiting.

I will keep praying for healing and praying against the devil's schemes, but in that prayer is also 'thy will be done'. The night before Jesus was crucified, He also prayed and asked if there was any other way for this to be done, knowing the pain that was soon to come, but finished that prayer with "not my will, but yours be done". Praying for healing at any time is always something that will be important, but also praying that the pain you are experiencing and the struggle you are facing will be used for something far greater than you could ever imagine is just as important.

Praying that God will use you for His glory means letting Him use you on His terms- not yours, which means that He will make you into the person He needs you to be, to accomplish the plans He has for you. Creating that person, won't be easy, it will be difficult. Nothing about my life the last two and a half years has been easy, but the things that I have been learning, and only could have learned through the struggle, will always be far better than if my life would have been easy.

If you are facing a struggle right now, big or small, know that what will come out of it on the other side of that struggle, will be so so good and worth the struggle. The devil intervines in our life when he knows that something good is about to happen and when he can see that we are surrendering fully to God's plan. The devil is going to do anything he can to bring you down and distract you from living the life that God has planned for you. Don't let the devil win.

So, if you have been praying that God will use you or you don't know how God could ever use someone like you, know that when things are hard, they are hard because God is preparing you for what is to come. Feel the pain, cling to the Lord, and let Him form you into the person He wants you to be. Allow yourself to rely on God and God alone for your every need. Know that if you pray to be used, that God is going to use you in whatever way He finds best, which is not always the way that we think would be best. Pray against the devil's schemes, but pray on top of that that when the devil tries to interfere with your life, and tries to get into your head, that you will have the strength to persevere and push through to fulfill the plan God has for your life. Not once in the Bible did God ever leave anyone alone, or forget about them. He isn't going to forget you either.

Be intentional in your prayers. Be expectant that God will fulfill them, but that He also might make you wait a while before He does. Be ready, you will only be used to further the Kingdom as much as you allow God to use you. If you pray intently to be used, be ready to suffer first, in preparation for the plans God has to use you.  It is a privilege to suffer for Christ, and chances are, if you are committing your life to the Lord for Him to do His will in your life, you are going to encounter some suffering.

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