Vulnerably Beautiful

life seems to be this continual cycle, two steps forward, three steps back. this continual cycle of questioning, asking "why?" and wondering what the plan could be. life is unpredictable. over and over again we question why God does what He does when He does it. over and over again we doubt God's goodness when we are in the middle of a tough time. the best worldly thing could be given to us and we would praise and thank God for his goodness. in that same 5 minutes of celebration, the worst thing could happen and we would immediately ask why God would let such a bad thing happen to us. ever think that maybe that thing that we think is the worst, could be the best? think of good friday. it's GOOD friday, not BAD friday, but what happened on that so-called GOOD friday? the highest amount of pain happened on that day, Jesus was brutally beaten and hung on a cross, for you, and for me. a SINLESS man was hung on a cross to die for people who live every single day of the...

Dear 17 year old me... enjoy senior year. don't study so much, enjoy your time with your friends as this year will go by faster than you want it to. go to that party, go on a date with that boy. invest time in those around you, be intentional about your relationships and time. read your bible more, play more music. go visit grandma and grandpa more. focus on God. be in the moment, stop worrying about the future, it will all work out the way it is supposed to. your marks aren't everything, they aren't worth the stress. enjoy every moment you have, the people around you, won't always be there. Dear 18 year old me... life sucks right now, hey? you'll get through it. it's tough, but you are tougher. stop being angry at the world, forgive yourself for what happened, it wasn't your fault. bloom where you are planted, choose to be content in any situation, whether you chose it or not. (Philippians 4:12) life isn't as bad as it looks. the things you will ...

weakness.  the biblical concept of weakness does not mean the things we’re not good at. We’re tempted to think this way. it would be easier if weakness were contained to the things we stink at doing. but it’s much more pervasive than that. We can’t simply tip-toe around it. weakness is everywhere in the New Testament-- Mark 14:38, Acts 20:35, 1 Corinthians 1:26-27, Romans 5:8, Romans 8:26, Romans 14:1-4, 1 Corinthians 12:9-10. in all of these verses, the general theme of being deficient in something is what it all comes back to. the broad definition would be that weakness is usually associated with something we are lacking. weakness means that we are in desperate need of God and all that He has to offer us.  embrace your weakness, don't despise it.  when we embrace weakness, we have looked into our own lives enough to know that we don't have it all together and that we need God so very badly. 1. embracing weakness means you value spiritual gifts....

ever have a choice to make, and you know what the right choice is, but inside you still want to pick the other one? this is something that i can guarantee will occur once in your life, if not more than once. it is something that i have to do on a regular basis. do you ever think that God is the same way. He doesn't want to allow pain, and hurt and brokenness to come upon us, but He knows how we will grow from it, and how the rest of our life could be impacted because of that hard situation. He loves us so much though, that it must be hard for Him to see us struggling. that also gives me so much hope, knowing that. that God only allows suffering when it is going to help us, and improve our way of life. He can change any situation, yet He chooses to leave us in hard ones because He knows the growth and faith and love that will come from it. don't get me wrong, it is incredibly hard to make the wise choice over the favourable one. little, or big, it is hard. whether it is ...

your worth, is not defined by what you do. what sports you play. what your GPA is. what school you go to. who your friends are. who you are dating. your worth, is not defined by how much you weigh. by how you look. by how much money you have. by how fancy your clothes are. who your parents say you are. your worth, is defined by Christ the Lord. NOT by what other people see in you, or the way you lived or are currently living your life. when we look for our worth from earthly, worldly things, it gets us no where. that space we are trying to fill, that gap, can only be filled by Jesus. if we look to others to tell us our worth, then we find our worth in what they say, think and how they perceive us and the world. it will lead us astray very quickly. looking for our worth, in another person, in a relationship isn't going to fill us. yes, it is important to have worth to a friend or significant other, but that can't be the only place that we look for it. when we find our wort...

i dare you to take a moment and think about your life. to think about the people who have influenced it and to think about your everyday activities and what those entail. how many times a day are you asked "how are you?" ? how many times do you give an honest answer? almost every single conversation i have with people daily goes something like this "hey! how are you?" "good, how are you?" 90% of the time, i will say that i am good, whether it is true or not, most of us will. which leads me to DARE #1: actually tell people how you are doing when they ask. now, i am not saying to tell every single person all day about how much your life sucks at the moment, but the people who care and genuinely care about your well being, tell them. tell them, about your struggles or what is getting you down that day. they genuinely want to know. DARE #2: let people speak into your life. so going off #1, tell people how you are, but let them hold that hope for you. let them ...

so i don't know about you, but i suck at being vulnerable. it is not something i am good at and never saw the reason for having to break down and share things with people when people are so inconsistent. that all changed recently. since my concussion a couple years ago, i have gotten to see people in a whole new light. chronic migraines, concussion, fibromyalgia, and many more illness' are invisible. when you look at the person with them, they look normal, like they are perfectly fine. when i broke my ankle. everyone gave well wishes and was sorry that i was in pain. when i got my concussion, it was invisible, so people told me how good i looked and that i must be better. at the start, i was okay with that, it wasn't a big deal, i wanted people to think i was strong and recovering well. when things didn't get better, and people still told me that, it really started to hurt me. i started questioning if i was trying hard enough to get better, that maybe i didn't h...

so i don't know about you, but the hills are much easier, and more fun than the valleys are. but guys, the valleys are so so worth going through. the valleys, as hard as may be, will be for good. it will show God's great power that can't be done in simple situations. i can't say I've seen what the world deems a huge miracle, but i did see a man get open heart surgery to replace a valve, and a month and a half later run a 5k by my side. if that isn't a good enough miracle for you, then i don't know what is. at the time, i would not have said that open heart surgery was good for anything other than to keep that man alive. it put stress on him, and his wife, and kids and family, but look at the good that came from that. that man has completed 3 FULL IRONMAN races (2.4mile swim, 112mile bike, AND 26.2mile run--consecutively), more half ironman races than i can count and many half and full marathons throughout that. God is so powerful to allow that man to do ...

hey guys, so i had somethings on my heart that i wanted to share and just be real with you. almost two and a half years ago, i sustained a mild concussion. it was a month and a half before my high school graduation. that was a really stressful time in my life. i had exams and a job and now this concussion. Lets just say that when grad came, i was so ready to be done with school and looking forward to the summer ahead.  i was at camp, all summer and loved every minute of it. of course, hard days came due to some post concussion symptoms, but i was optimistic. I had plans of university in the fall and was ready to move away and experience new things in life. I was ready to explore and make memories. Create a future for myself.  little did i know what was in store for me.  fast forward two and a half years later. through missed concerts and outings with my friends. a missed family trip to Europe. missed time in school.  this journey of healing hasn't been a...